Sorry, no, I will not couchez avec vous, but I will present today’s PoeWar writing prompt: Write a 300-word description of your bedroom. Think about the items you have or the other elements of your room that give the best clues about who you are or who you want others to think you are. I’ll be honest, this prompt was not initially very interesting to me I’m not that interested in my bedroom. where was I going to find 300 words worth reading about it? Therein lies the challenge, so I will stop whining and invite you into my bedroom.
This is going to be a one-person-at-a-time tour since there is only room for two humans and 1-3 animals at any given time. As you enter, make the first step a wide one to avoid that dog urine stain that’s in front of the door. I have cleaned and scrubbed it multiple times, yet the stain remains. That’s probably because the carpet in this older house we bought is no less than 35 years old. No structure built after 1990 has seen carpet like it. Anyway, moving on, please look up at the lovely soft brown room darkening insulated curtains on the two big windows and not down at the ragged piles of discarded work clothes on the floor. All mine. My husband believes in using the hamper, which is located a few feet to your right. I usually claim to be too tired to walk over there and deposit my clothes. That’s bullshit, though. I just have more important things on my mind than locating a receptacle for my clothing. That’s also bullshit, though. I’m just a slob.
Now if we trade positions, I will have room to walk you past the modern and tidy IKEA shelving units we use in lieu of a dresser (the Swedes have this space economizing thing nailed) and into the master bathroom. I’m afraid there isn’t room in there for both of us, so go ahead and poke around by yourself. Evidently this bathroom was added decades after the original build as all the fixtures appear to be stacked on top of each other, the wall facing the bedroom sort of bows outward due to the shower humidity, and the luxuriously large cabinet does not open all the way because the light fixture is in the way. But having a house with a bathroom in the master bedroom is a dream.
Going back out into the bedroom you will notice the elegantly simple bed frame that my own blood, sweat, and tears assembled in one evening. I am very proud of that thing. In fact, I am insanely proud of everything in my quirky little master bedroom and in the rest of the house too. This is my first house ever, and could possibly be my only one. There was a time in the recent past when I thought I would never be a homeowner, and here I am. I am grateful. We moved in less than a year ago, so most of the personal touches, paint on the walls, color schemes, holes punched in door frames, have yet to happen, but I love it all just the same. Now I will escort you into a different room because I don’t even know you and you’re just hanging out in my bedroom. It’s creepy.