Unclench Your Face!

I saw the newest Bond film tonight, and I thought it was phenomenal.  I firmly believe that the Bonds’ tailors do not get enough credit for pouring these men into their suits so beautifully.  Nobody can outrun a fireball in an expensive suit like James Bond.  Nobody.  The actors in the film performed their roles masterfully, and Javier Bardem has quickly become my favorite Bond villain.  As I watched
the brilliant Dame Judi Dench in her role as Agent M, I thought to myself, “She is 72 years old and she is still a beautiful talented badass.”  She certainly is, but hold on.  Why did I include the word “still” in that thought?  Was I surprised that her talent and beauty had not somehow diminished because she was 72 years old?  What would make me think something like that?

Well, let’s see here.  Maybe I had that thought because it seems like every female in the public eye is terrified of getting older.  So terrified in fact that they are permanently altering their bodies to publicly deny that they are getting older

.  They are projecting the culture’s view that anyone over the age of twenty five is worth less and less with each passing year.  Of course this isn’t actually true.  Since the beginning of time people have managed to successfully get older the longer they were alive, so why, now, are we throwing mutant-faced tantrums to deny that this happens?  Well, that’s what happens when our culture worships youth and shoves it in our faces around every turn.  The young, wrinkle-free, bronzy, clear skinned, full lipped, large breasted women are in all the magazines, TV shows, movies, and ads.  They get all the jobs, all the breaks, and all the attention.   Our culture is buying illusions, and aging celebrities feel they have to keep up with the demand.

The more we continue to buy into this scenario, the more we destroy our future.  We don’t want to face our own aging and mortality.  No one in the history of the world ever has.  Today, though, we have the technology enabling us to betray ourselves, convince ourselves that our hair doesn’t grey, our skin doesn’t loosen, our tits don’t sag.  Unfortunately, as a result women are becoming ashamed of being human.  Does that sound fucked up to anyone else?!

Notice, if you haven’t, that this experience is exclusive to the women of the species.  Women are not allowed to age.  If we have something to say, God forbid we are a few (dozen) pounds overweight, have hairs growing anywhere but our heads,  lines anywhere on our face, or hair that’s a bit flat, or we will be eaten alive before our words will be heard.  As I watched the Bond film tonight, I noted the wrinkles on Daniel Craig’s face, the grey hairs in his  sloppy unshaven face.  I wanted the other people on the screen to notice that too and tell him he looked tired or ill.  But they didn’t.  I tried to imagine him, or any aging male actor (which is all of them) spending thousands of dollars to take the wrinkles out of their face or plump up their lips, and the thought was laughable.  If men aren’t participating in the illusion, why are we?

Women, stop this, please!  Guess what?  We get old just like the boys do.  There is no more sense denying it than trying to reason with a mid-tantrum two year old.  When parts of your face no longer move when you talk, it isn’t pretty, it’s frightening.  Orange is not now, and never will be a flattering skin tone.  Yes, your butt looks big in those pants.  Why can’t that be okay?  Furthermore, just because we know we can inject botulism into our tissue and inflate it, doesn’t mean that this was ever a sane option.  Stop trying to hide your age.  Respect yourself.  While you’re doing that, go ahead and tell the world about how we poop, fart, excrete, leak, and have bad breath, like every other member of your species does.  I just farted after typing that sentence, and I respect my right to do so.

Dame Judi Dench is beautiful.  She has wrinkles, grey hair, and eyelid puffs.  She is beautiful and she looks like a human.  As a culture, let’s take some time to focus on the older female members of our club.  They’ve been around longer and have learned a thing or two.  If we start listening to them instead of trying to hide them, I bet we could work with them to help get our futures back.  Realistically, no one should be listening to most people under twenty five years old anyway.  They are far too proud of not knowing anything.



About Allison Anarchy

I write because I have to
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2 Responses to Unclench Your Face!

  1. keeme says:

    As I was reading I shouted out “Al Pacino had work done!” Then I thought about all the crap women go through to impress society. I saw my mom do it, her mom and everyone woman in my family, including my own daughters. Men have it made, we get to look distinguished and wise. It’s noot fair and WE ARE NOT WISE because we have grey hair. I think this argument has been made in the past. The magazines causing little girls to become anorexic, or driven to suicide. It’s a sad thing, treating women like objects, its worse making them think they have to look good for us to look at them as objects worth looking at. When my girls were actual little girls, I would change the stories I read them to make the princess in charge of her own life, not the prince or whoever wanted them to fit a mold. Maybe we just have to change the fairytale for all the little girls and boys so they can change reality when they grow up.

  2. laneydodson says:

    I love princesses who are in charge of their own lives!
    Even as I wrote this I knew I wasn’t saying anything that hasn’t been said before. I still had to get it out there because I am sick of looking at self-induced alien faces. I found my first grey hair the other day and I was proud as hell. I earned every pigmentless bit of that thing.

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